5 Things You MUST Know if You Are Denying Your Husband Sex

I want to share with you 5 things you MUST know:

1. If you deny your husband sex, you are missing out on what God has in store for YOU sexually.

I could start  rambling endlessly about all that your husband is missing because of your sexual denial, but I want to first focus on you.

Here's the deal -- the Cliff's Notes version you might say -- sexual pleasure is God's idea for both a wife and a husband.  Orgasm, passion, foreplay, being turned-on, soul bonding -- all that physical, emotional and spiritual stuff -- those elements are all part of God's plan for sex.

And nowhere in His Word does He say he did all that just for husbands.  Nope.  His Word is clear that sex is a gift to both a husband and a wife.

God wants you both to experience all the benefits of sexual connection.

Orgasm feels good, and as I have often said, there is no other purpose of the clitoris except sexual pleasure in a woman.

Consistent and nurtured sexual intimacy endears you to one another, making it easier to extend each other grace. It has so much potential to be a place of tenderness, passion, fun and even stress relief!

I wish I would have known all of this in my first marriage.

2. If you deny your husband sex, you are breaking God's heart.

Okay, I get that you and your husband have issues.  At least I'm guessing that's the reason behind all the non-existent sex.

Or possibly you are the one with big issues that you have been unwilling to address.  Those could be physical issues with hormones, depression or poor health.   They could be emotional issues, such as past betrayals, sadnesses, family of origin struggles, or sexual abuse from which you haven't sought healing.

Or maybe they are mis-information issues.  You were always told sex was "dirty" or "obligation" or "wrong."

Whatever the issues, whether they are within your marriage or within your own journey, if they are negatively impacting your sexual desire for your husband, stop pretending like they will resolve themselves.

Do something.

Pray and read God's Word about marriage and sex. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Go to counseling. Read a Christian marriage book.

Stop staying stuck in stagnant status quo.

I know that marriage is complex, and in some marriages, the struggles are deeply shattering.  I also know, though, that as long as you are married, you are in a place where God implores you to do what you can to nurture the relationship.

3. If you deny your husband sex, you are handing Satan the keys to your marriage.

Oh it sounds so harsh to say it this way, but it tragically is true.  Satan is hell bent on destroying marriages because marriage is a covenant relationship God created.

And division is Satan's go-to tactic. (Divide husbands and wives. Divide families. Divide communities. Divide friends. You get the point.)

That being the case, why on earth would you give Satan any more opportunity to sabotage your marriage than he is already taking all on his own?

When you regularly deny sex to your husband -- or when you half-heartedly go through the motions sexually -- you are opening your marriage up to unfathomable attack.

You are making it easier for your husband to fall into temptation and sin with pornography and adultery.  You are watering the breeding ground of resentment and bitterness.

In no way am I removing a husband's accountability to obey God, remain faithful to his marriage vows and steer clear of sexual temptation.

I'm just saying that if a man is starving, he will be drawn to any food within his reach, even if it is food that is dreadfully bad for him.

You give your marriage a much better fighting chance if you stop leaving so many doors open to Satan.  Having and enjoying sex with your husband helps keep the doors from flying wide open.

4. If you deny your husband sex, you are setting a crappy example for your kids.

If you have kids, they are looking at you and your husband and constantly picking up insights about marriage.

This isn't about giving your kids the impression that marriage is always perfect, because let's face it, it's not. But I can only imagine that your heart's cry is to give them the truth, and the truth is that marriage is a sacred union that is worth tending to.

"But my kids don't even know what goes on with us sexually," you may say.

Sure, your kids are not privy to the details of your sexual intimacy, but I will bet my last dollar that they sense whether mom and dad genuinely care about each other.

They pay close attention to how you interact and how you show respect and affection.  They get things that we don't think they get.

If you intend on training children up in the way they shall go, then don't forget to live and breath what God says about marriage and sex.

5. If you deny your husband sex, you are hurting the man you love.

I don't know your back story, but unless you are in an arranged marriage, the man who is your husband is someone you loved enough to actually marry.   Yes, this is the guy who you entrusted with your heart and life.

When you deny sex to him, suggesting with your actions or words that he is an insensitive animal because he wants to make love to his wife, you are hurting him.

Why would you want to hurt the person you love?

If you are denying your husband sex, my heart goes out to you and him.  Your actions are robbing you both of something profound.

OK....

20 Reasons Why a Wife Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

Many, many years ago I couldn’t wait to experience my honeymoon.  The day when I could finally know my husband on a sexual level.  But now the honeymoon is over and real life has begun. Yet, I can’t help but think back to that first night, as well as, the early months of our relationship.  Oh how I longed to be with him!  And the idea of not desiring to be intimate with my husband was never a thought that crossed my mind.

But after 14 yeas of marriage, that newness that was once there has diminished, and life has crept into our relationship.  So this got me to thinking about wives in general.  I often hear how many of them don’t have much of a desire to be sexually intimate with their man, and I have wondered what has changed for them.

You see, I personally do not believe that any new bride had intentions of avoiding or depriving her man of sex when she said yes to his marriage proposal.  But something has happened in their marriage.  There is a break down of some sort that is causing her to turn away from being intimate with him.  

This break down could be for a number of reasons: 

• Some are directly related to her man. 
• Some are related to the pressures and demands of family life.
• Some could be related to body image issues, prior sexual sin, or abuse.
• Or some reasons could be the female body experiencing pain, limitations, hormonal imbalances, etc.

So, on this list are areas that we have control over and others areas, well… not so much.  But nevertheless, sexual intimacy is ‘the thing’ that sets our relationship with our husbands apart from any other relationship.  Regardless of our problems, this is not an area that we want to intentionally neglect because if we do, then that’ll bring a host of other issues into our marriage.

She’s Got Issues Related to Her Man

• Her husband is rude.  Now, what woman in her right mind, would want to get naked and sleep with an insensitive, self-centered, and rude man?  I know I wouldn’t!  Quite frankly, I did not walk down the aisle to marry a man like that and I can reckon that most wives didn’t either.
• He treats her more like a child rather than his wife.
• Bitterness has grown in her heart towards him.
• She’s lost respect for him for a number of reasons.  He could be a poor decision maker, father, money manager, lazy worker, doesn’t deal with conflict, is afraid to deal with extended family problems, etc.
• She no longer trusts him.  Maybe he’s gotten into pornography or had an affair.
• She’s no longer physically attracted to him.  Or he may have poor hygiene and she’s turned off by him.
• He only has sex with her so he can physically satisfy himself, therefore, sex is not enjoyable to her.
• Because of how he treats her or how she views him, she feels emotionally disconnected from him.

Outside of the man taking a shower and brushing his teeth, there are no quick fixes to the other issues.  Lot’s of prayer, conversations with your husband, as well as some guidance are needed to help you deal with many of these problems.  Unfortunately, I can’t go into the solutions here in this blog post.  However, as time goes on I will cover them.  So, if you can relate to some of these issues, make sure you sign up to receive my future posts.

She’s Focused on Her Family Life

• She’s stressed and/or worried.  Family and/or financial problems consume her mind so she’s not in the mood.
• She’s mentally exhausted.
• Sex is not on her to-do list and her list is already long enough as it is.
• Her children sleep in her bed.  To get them out and re-train them to sleep in their own beds would be like World War III, and it’s just not something that she wants to deal with. Keeping peace with the kids is more important than having sex with her husband. Who wants to deal with another temper-tantrum, right?
• She’s pregnant and feels undesirable.
• She’s nursing and she doesn’t want another human being on her.  She needs her space so she can breathe.

After you marry it’s common for your focus to shift a bit.  For some, you entered into the world of motherhood rather quickly.  For other wives, you might be focusing on a career or perhaps raising teenagers, handling a blended family, aging parents, etc.  You are now wearing more than the ‘wife’ hat.  Perhaps you feel more like the cook, maid, taxi driver, etc.  It’s hard to shift gears into feeling like a wife within minutes of an overwhelming and exhausting day.  But the good thing about this list is you have the most control over it and it’s most likely the easiest one to fix.   Knowing your roles and putting them in the proper biblical order is the key here. But if you’re not careful and you neglect your marriage, you can end up having to deal with additional problems that are related to your husband. 

She’s Dealing with Her Own Inner Demons

• She feels guilt or shame from past sexual experiences or abuse.
• She’s feels insecure about her body.

If you have body image issues this is something you can work on yourself.  You don’t have to wait for your man to change on this one! And if you’re dealing with guilt and shame from your past, you need to be in constant prayer and communion with the Lord.  Through His redemptive blood He’ll heal you of your wounds.

She’s Got Physical Issues

I’m going all vulnerable and open with you about this area of my life in hopes that what I’ve experienced will encourage you in your situation….

• Sex is painful.  When my babies entered into the world, let’s just say that natural childbirth jacked up my female body parts and made something that was once so physically pleasurable, now something excruciatingly painful.  “What the heck just happened and how do I fix it,” were my thoughts on my new found problem.
• She’s physically exhausted. I lived with 10 years of chronic fatigue.  Naps were scheduled into my daily routine because I couldn’t function without them.  If this way of life describes you, then plan for naps and simplify your schedule.  Yes, I realize that if you’re facing these issues you feel like your life as you once knew it, is now over.
• She’s chronically sick.  Yep, been here as well, my friend.  If you really want to know more about me, then we’re going to get up close and personal on this one!  In fact, I can’t believe I’m going to type this one out loud for the entire world to see.  But hey, if it ministers to another sister in the Lord, then so be it.  So here it goes….  I had a rectal and vaginal infection for well over a few years and let me just say that having sex with my husband when you have infections in those areas is not something on the top of my to do list!  The doctors were of no help either.  When they said, “I’ve never seen anything like this”, those words don’t bring a whole lot of comfort to the patient.
• She has a low sex drive.  Of course I can relate to this one as well being that I had rupturing ovarian cysts for over 5 years.  Ya know, those things have a tendency to be related to imbalanced hormones!  Of course all of my sexual/health-related issues made me feel like I wanted to slap someone, or better yet, kill someone, but that’s not something the Lord would’ve been too pleased with.

If you’re dealing with physical problems then be diligent to seek out medical guidance so your body can be fixed or somewhat restored.  I say somewhat restored because sometimes fixing our bodies is just not a reality.  However, avoiding sex altogether is not a solution to your problems either, it’ll just compound them.  So you might need to get sexually creative on this one.

I know there are many things on this list that are so difficult to overcome, but with a willing heart, a teachable spirit, and a desire to please the Lord, you can, with Christ, overcome many of these obstacles.

Avoiding sex and telling your husband that you have a headache is not going to make your marriage any better, in fact, it’ll cause more problems to arise.  One of the things that sex is designed for is to bring you and your man closer together.  The marriage bed is a place to strengthen your one flesh union. There’s a reason why God said not to forsake the marriage bed….it’s for our benefit and our protection.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control

Wife Frustrated with and Hurt over Husband’s Low Sex Drive

Wife Frustrated with and Hurt over Husband’s Low Sex Drive

Why does my husband have such a low libido and so little interest in maintaining a healthy sex life? Our situation doesn't seem to fit the typical reports I hear about sexual problems in marriage - usually it's the man who's complaining about his wife's lack of sexual desire. I would love to have sex "only" once a week! We've gone months and years without it! I'm very hurt and frustrated.

SOLUTION :

You're right - despite popular perceptions to the contrary, this isn't just a complaint from husbands about wives. Problems with low sex drive and failure to satisfy a spouse's need for physical intimacy can run either direction in a marriage. When issues of this kind raise their heads and disrupt a marital relationship, it's good to have some idea of what may be causing them. Where men are concerned, our counselors' observations have led them to conclude that there are at least ten major reasons for decreased male libido. Here they are:

1. Medication. Surprisingly, this reason is often overlooked. Prescription drugs as well as over-the-counter drugs can suppress a man's desire for and interest in sex. Prescription medications that belong on this list include antidepressants, tranquilizers, anti-ulcer drugs, diuretics, anti-hypertensives (for high blood pressure), psychotropics (for mental illness), opiates (for pain) and non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAID's). Over-the-counter drugs to remember are those used for coughs, colds and allergies.
2. Depression. This factor is the second most commonly overlooked, despite the fact that depression is the most frequently encountered emotional/psychological problem in modern America. It's a real sex-drive zapper, and it can easily escape the notice of driven, motivated, high-functioning individuals who don't realize that they're depressed.
3. Pornography and Sex Addiction. This villain is making its evil influence felt in the lives of an increasing number of otherwise respectable Christian men (and women). Many therapists report that pornography is moving to the top of the list as a cause for husbands' decreased interest in their wives. Ironically, sexual release through porn addiction and self-stimulation, combined with deep feelings of guilt over a secret, double life, often lead to the development of a kind of "sexual anorexia."
4. Childhood Experiences. Many men make the mistake of thinking that they were not sexually abused if they were never sexually touched. But simply seeing sexually explicit material at a young age can sometimes result in permanent mental scars, unless the person is treated by a qualified therapist. Other negative childhood influences include poor body image, too little bonding with parents and family members or too much smothering by a boy's mother.
5. Sexual Inexperience or Performance Anxiety. Believe it or not, many men are extremely insecure when it comes to sexual prowess. Self-doubt can cause a husband to feel defeated before he even starts. Fears arising from inexperience can often be resolved with education and the patient understanding of a loving wife. Performance anxiety, on the other hand, is sometimes connected with deeper issues unrelated to sex, and in such cases it can only be overcome with the help of a qualified therapist.
6. Stress. Stress is such a familiar part of modern life that many couples end up accepting it as a "third marriage partner." Over-commitment and over-work leave husbands and wives with no time and no energy for the fun part of marriage. Even life-changes that are usually perceived as positive - a promotion, a new home or the arrival of a baby - have a way of consuming energy and thus hampering a normal sex drive.
7. Erectile Dysfunction. It's important to point out that impotence, or ED, is not technically the same thing as loss of libido. Still, when one is present, the other is usually soon to follow. Hormonal issues also play a role in this frustrating drama - lowered testosterone levels can add to the vicious cycle. Here, as in so many other areas, health problems rarely occur in isolation.
8. Street Drugs and Alcohol. Despite their reputation for reducing sexual inhibitions, either of these can also have the long-term effect of decreasing libido.
9. Illness, Aging and Pain. It should be obvious that all of these factors diminish a person's ability to experience sexualpleasure. As a result, they also chip away at sexual desire. Unfortunately, it isn't always easy to detect a connection between them and a loss of healthy libido. You and your husband may need to consult two or three different physicians before finding one who is competent to diagnose the real problem.
10. Relationship Problems. In some cases, the role of relational issues in connection with sexual dysfunction is fairly obvious. In others it's harder to discern. Some couples mistakenly believe that they can leave their unresolved conflicts at the bedroom door. Perhaps you and your spouse need to do some soul-searching. Do you have good conflict resolution skills? Are you subtly putting your husband down or disrespecting him in other ways? If you are, you shouldn't be surprised if his interest in you begins to wane.

Naturally, this "Top Ten List" is offered here only as a starting place. As a matter of fact, there can be any number of complicated reasons for a husband's loss of interest in sex. Not least among these is failure to understand God's purpose in creating marriage and sexuality in the first place - the sealing of a one-flesh union between man and woman which is in turn designed to reflect Christ's self-sacrificial love for the church (see Ephesians 5:31-33). In our society, both husbands and wives frequently lose sight of this aspect of their relationship.

OK....

How to Talk to Your Husband or Wife About Serious Relationship Problems

No one likes problems, but handled correctly, they create an opportunity for a closer marriage

Breaking the silence

You love your spouse, but your relationship has serious problems.  How can you talk to your spouse about it without making things worse?  Some people are so afraid of upsetting their spouse that they suffer for years in silence.  Ironically, sometimes both partners suffer in silence for years over the same problem.  The time of long-suffering relationships is over and couples are realizing that without open discussion and partnership, their marriage will end. Spouses are less inclined to hang onto a marriage when they are not satisfied and less inclined to work on the marriage as time goes on. You need to get any problems out in the open, early, and in the most productive way possible.

Focus on the way you talk about the problem rather than being quick to offer solutions

“A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down,” is a line from the movie Mary Poppins. That's good advice for telling people what they may not want to hear--spouses included.  In the case of telling your husband or wife that you are unhappy with something about your marriage, you willneed to be quick to add that you want your marriage to be better for both of you.  Something like this, “John/Jill, I'm not satisfied with our relationship, but I want to work on it and make it better for both of us.”  Saying it this way will help your spouse to take you seriously without making it seem like a car crash. Be sure to choose a time when things are going well.Never try to do this during or right after a fight.

Although you say this well, you are married to a human being who is going to have a human reaction 

You may have rehearsed what you were going to say to your spouse a dozen times, but your spouse didn't have that benefit. His or her reaction is not going to be well thought out.  Whatever your spouse says at this point, it will be your job to stay calm and not to argue.  Note that all this happens before you even talk about any specifics. Specifics should come after you get your spouse's cooperation and not before. Otherwise what you meant to be positive will turn into a fight. Good communication happens in stages. Don't try to change a problem that has gone on for a long time in a single discussion.

Here are four common responses spouses have and how you can handle them.

1. If your spouse agrees with you that there are problems and that he or she has also been thinking about how to make the relationship better, then great!  You have a marriage that is in the minority, but well on the way to becoming a great relationship.  Together, you can explore the way you would like the relationship to be (rather than how the problems started) and make plans for getting the relationship in Romeo and Juliet shape. You will only need coaching help if the communication breaks down or your spouse won't follow through.

2. If your spouse immediately starts to blame you, then your relationship is among the majority.  This is still a good position though, because your spouse is recognizing that there are problems.  Recognition of problems is the first step to making things better.  It is also the basis for starting to talk positively. You can promote good talking by focusing on just listening at first, without defending yourself or suggesting solutions.  Agree with your spouse whenever possible and don’t argue about even one thing. All changes that you want are going to start by agreeing with your spouse, not by forcing your spouse to change. If you often butt heads with your spouse, my book Connecting Through “Yes!” will be very helpful.

3. If your spouse denies that there are any problems, then your job will be to raise his or her awareness.  People in denial need help becoming aware of a problem before they will even consider doing something about it.  Usually, a problem focused approach will just cause more denial.  Instead, suggest some of the ways that your relationship might become better--feeling closer, having more fun, more romance, a budget for each of you to be able to enjoy activities you like, etc.  If this doesn't' get any kind of positive response from your spouse, you will need to focus on improving your personal boundaries while also connecting. This situation is more difficult than the first two and it often helps to have marriage coaching just for yourself as you learn to overcome any neediness, while also learning to emotionally connect with your spouse.

4. If your spouse says he/she wants a divorce, it's important not to panic. Your spouse didn't just come up with idea the minute you brought up problems. You will have just gotten your spouse to announce what he or she has been thinking or planning to do. If severe problems have gone on for a long time, it's natural that your spouse has considered divorce, and you may have had some thoughts of that, too. As I write in Connecting Through “Yes!” the best response to this is by agreeing that your spouse may be right, but to also say that you want to really make sure that is the best choice for the both of you. This kind of response is not needy, not attacking, and sets the stage for problem solving. Don't commit to divorcing, but focus on connecting and opening up the communication. Handled correctly, this can help to rebuild your marriage in some very important ways that your spouse did not think was possible.

If all you get is rejection when you try to be loving

If all you get is rejection when you are trying to improve your marriage, it means that your spouse either: 

1) has burned out on your marriage and completely lost hope in it; or 

2) has already made plans for leaving you. 

These are not reasons to despair, but they are reasons to get help as soon as possible. At this point, you still have contact, are still together, and can make your marriage work with the right help. Marriage counseling is not your best bet at this time because of your spouse's lack of interest in the marriage. Marriage counseling is best when two people want to work together on their marriage. Instead, you will need to begin with marriage coaching for yourself. This is because you will need to learn how to interest your spouse in the marriage again. After that, you and your spouse can continue in marriage counseling, or in couple's marriage coaching.

10 Common Reasons for Husband and Wife Fights

Well the topic is quite general and can be said to be an integral part of every couples’ life. Even the happiest couples have been failed to escape the fight phase between them even though they once thought that they are the perfect couple and nothing can wrong between them

So here I am bringing you all the top 10 reasons of fights between a lovey-dovey couple:

1.  Ego

I would definitely put this on the top of the list as I feel ego is something that spoils the bliss. Marriage is bliss to each and every couple and it can be elevated to heaven like feeling if both of the people engaged put aside their ego and indulge into adjustment. Plus if your partner is saying something should be done in a particular way which is a slight departure from your way of doing it consider it as a suggestion and blend into it. Life is full of compromises and in marriage that has to come from both the ends. But usually that does not happen as ego crosses the path. While making any sort of compromise one feels that she/he is stooping low which is apparently unfair or not justified. And due to this cracks start to emerge and eventually widen in the most blissful couple as well.

2. Me-Time

Marriage means interaction with not only your partner but his/her family as well. And the “family” gets extended with office colleagues, playground pals, gym buddies et al. And then even if you manage to find some time alone that is supposed to be booked exclusively for your partner. Finding me-time out of we-time becomes a bit difficult at times. And this is also one of the main reasons for arguments/fights between couples. Giving your partner a space, and taking a break for oneself as well is an extremely important ingredient to successful marriage. But that is something which hardly happens as arguments erupts such as “how come you want to spend time without me??’. This me-time factor has always been a big issue between couples which is seemingly unavoidable.

3. Lack of Passion/Mismatch level of desires

Even though a hush-hush matter, especially in countries such as India where tradition takes precedence over basic conjugal rights, yet lack of passion has been of the major factors of fights between couples which at time is seen to lead to divorces. We can never deny that we all have carnal desires which need to satiate and we expect our partner to be compatible not only in general conjugal issues but also in bed. But unfortunately the stress, work pressure emerged mainly because of the hectic lifestyle that we lead has leads to less and less physical intimation between couples. The unfulfilled desires eventually lead to haughty temper, acridity et al. Sometimes the mismatched sexual desires also lead to differences among couples.

4. Family – Yours or Mine??/Monster-In-Laws

Probably the most common reason which secures its place from day 1, fights regarding in-laws/relatives and other family matters always takes precedence over all the love that prevails. Whose family is more important?? My family is not enough care of…?? These are the pretty common arguments that emerge among couples. Plus when these extended families put forth their opinion regarding any issue that concerns the couple the fight becomes even worse with heated arguments from both the sides which at times drags relatives/family members as well.

5.  Suspicious Nature of Partner

Now this one really makes life hell. If your partner is one of those who has that shaq ka keera in her/his mind then even God cannot help you with anything. Suspecting your partner on each and every small thing is nothing but absurd. But this has become one of major reasons for the fights among couples. Over the years the percentage of couples fighting because of suspicious nature of the partner has got a hike, and has been a major concern for divorces. Psychiatrist and marriage consultant group these sort of people as with some kind of problem who need immediate treatment. The inability to trust somebody completely is at times also termed as phobia of getting cheated again which leads to a failed relationship.

6.  Taking Care of Children

This is another issue that often creates arguments within couples. How exactly the child should be brought up, or what are the exact values to be taught – all these often lead to arguments as both of the husband and wife at times may not agree on the same and may have different viewpoint. Fights often erupt because of who will be the authority for the children or who would have the last say regarding them. Fights/arguments on the issue of children become worse when the parents are separated and at times this reason often leads to divorce.

7.  Third Person/Extra Marital affairs

People fall out of love in marriages now and then. And that is exactly what leads to the entry of a third person in an apparent blissful conjugal relationship. Psychiatrists say that people fall out of love in marriage probably because they get bored of the usual monotony of a long term commitment. That might be a temporary phase but it happens to most of the couples which leads to either divorce or temporary separation.  The notable thing here is that marriage is a long term commitment or responsibility and has its own pros and cons. It depends on us how we deal with it as the main challenge lies in the very fact of feeling rejuvenated with your partner even after 20 years of marriage in the same way as you used to feel 20 years before.

8.  Money Matters

Money has always played a crucial role in each one of us’ life. And so it does in the lives of couples where arguments become seemingly endless. This mainly happens if the income gap is huge between the partners which lead to a mismatch sense of materialistic desires. In Indian family set up where the scene has shifted majorly from girls being a housewife to working women marital in discrepancies seems to be on a hike as none of the partners is ready bow down or compromise. Here the notable thing is that money makes one individual feel secure; and in case of women it gives a sense of empowerment. And this agency is exactly what makes them less adjustable as compared to what they used to be.

9.  The Ex-factor

Keeping a good word with your ex might be a wise thing to do but might not get well with your present partner. That is exactly what gets reflected in certain arguments during fights among couples. We cannot deny our past nor can change it. While having a healthy relation with the ex is seemingly no harm and perfectly okay this might on the other hand bring out the possessive nature or insecurities of your partner towards this relationship. While we cannot change our past keeping a tab on your present relationship should be the priority. And if the partner is not comfortable with your current status with your ex it is better to maintain a healthy relationship. At times one might get overfriendly with his/her ex which is surely to erupt or fuel differences between the couple. Some might say getting insecure is over possessiveness but at times it is justified as it might just be a word of concern from your partner’s side. Understanding your partner’s point of view is also equally important which most of the couple lacks to a great extent, and that is exactly where the blame-game starts.

10.  Time taken to get ready

Even though it sounds silly but it is indeed one of the main reasons of fights among couples. And in this case the patriarchy rules while they put the entire blame of taking hours to get ready on their female counterpart. While girls do manage to look stunning after hours of hard-work and ignoring with a smile all the rushes that their husbands try to put them through, yet little arguments or conflicts do take place because of this reason.

Ok......!!!